Breastfeeding a baby isn’t easy, and it can be extremely exhausting. However, if you’ve never personally gone through the experience, the struggles might not be obvious. This is especially true if you have a friend who is breastfeeding and they’re too shy to ask you for help.
In this case, you might not know the specifics of what your friend is struggling with, and that makes it even harder to offer your support. If you offer to help with things they don’t really need, they might decline your offer and still not tell you what they need. Many breastfeeding parents are used to being criticized more than they’re supported, so they might not even speak up about their true needs.
Knowing this, here are some ways you can support a breastfeeding friend based on some of the most common needs.
1. Ask questions and listen
Breastfeeding support begins with listening. The number one way to support anyone in any situation is to ask them what they need and listen to their answer. Doing this will give your friend an opportunity to share their specific needs with you so you don’t have to guess and make random offers.
Start by asking your friend things like, “What can I do to support you?” “Is there anything I can do to help make things easier for you?” These open-ended questions will make your friend feel like they can ask for the support they need. They may have other people in their lives offering help for things they don’t need, and open-ended offers of support will be a breath of fresh air.
Since many people who breastfeed are used to being told what they should and shouldn’t do, and are often given unwanted advice that doesn’t apply, just listening will go a long way to help. Your friend will be elated that you’re willing to listen to them and consider their needs.
2. Offer to cook them meals
Breastfeeding can be exhausting, especially when there are other tasks to keep up with, like laundry, taking older kids to school, cooking dinner, and doing dishes. One of the easiest ways to support your friend is to cook meals for them and their family. Cooking takes quite a bit of energy, even for low-prep meals.
Ask your friend if you can come over for the day and make some meals they can store in the fridge and freezer to simply heat up for the next week or two. You might be surprised at how much this seemingly small offer will mean to them.
3. Clean their house
Maintaining a clean house is tough when you’re breastfeeding because it takes a lot of energy and that’s energy that will take a while to recuperate. Cleaning your friend’s house is one of the best things you can do to support them.
Depending on how close you are with your breastfeeding friend, you might be able to just go clean their house for them without asking. However, if you don’t know for sure, ask. Just tell them you’d like to clean their house for them if it’s okay, so they don’t have to expend any more energy than necessary. Ask them how they want their house cleaned and organized and you’ll make them really happy.
4. Do their laundry
A breastfeeding friend is going to have laundry piled up; it’s almost inevitable. If you are hanging out and happen to see piles of laundry, ask if you can do it for them. You can pop it in the washer while you hang out and then dry it and fold it before you leave. It only takes a couple hours at most, and if you’re already spending time with your friend, it will be easy for both of you.
Even though laundry piles are often a daily thing in some people’s lives, doing one load can make a huge difference for someone who doesn’t have the energy to maintain their usual flow.
5. Ask if you can get them better pillows
Wherever a person breastfeeds or pumps, the area needs to be set up in a way that makes it easy and comfortable. Your friend might not have thought about this. For instance, they might be making do with pillows that aren’t comfortable. If you can simply get them the right pillow, you’ll be helping immensely.
Your friend will appreciate your support
No matter what you do, your friend will appreciate everything you do to support them on their breastfeeding journey. Don’t hold back. Supporting them helps their baby, but it will also bring you closer and strengthen your friendship.