Science Driven: How To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem

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The world is not such a rosy place for men. The life expectancy of males in most Western countries is shorter than that of females. Men are more likely to die from violence and accidents than women and less likely to seek medical help when they’re ill. On top of all this, it’s thought that men suffer from lower self-esteem than women. This can lead them to behave in ways that may cause distress or harm to themselves or others around them.

If you love someone with low self-esteem, how you interact with them could profoundly impact how their self-destructive behaviors unfold. You may help them heal without even knowing it if you use the correct approach. So what is the right way to help a man with low self-esteem?

How To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem – What NOT To Do

Don’t tell him what you think he should do. Telling somebody that they should be more confident or that they need to stop putting themselves down is likely to increase their sense of shame and isolation rather than reduce it.

Don’t tell them unhelpful things like “don’t worry,” “you’re okay,” or “things will get better soon.” These phrases won’t sink in for someone who already feels worthless. Be very careful about advising about how he could run his life differently because it may only make him feel wrong about the ways he already behaves.

Don’t be compassionate. While you may mean to show your concern for a man struggling with his self-esteem, a display of compassion can make somebody feel more embarrassed or ashamed about their situation. They may also start to think that they don’t deserve your support and withdraw from further contact with you as a result.

Don’t compliment excessively. For compliments to be comforting, the person receiving them needs to know that they come from a genuine place of caring and empathy. Instead, they start to believe that those around them are only being kind because they expect something in return, which will make them feel worse about themselves rather than better.

Understand the root cause – Why They Are Feeling Down.

There are many reasons a man can have low self-esteem. It’s important to understand where these issues are coming from.

  • Is it a financial issue? Is it his job causing this issue or the way he spends money? Supporting someone in this transition is huge to change the mind set.
  • Are they not happy about the way they look? Many times a change of routine and diet will fix the appearance self-esteem issue.
  • Are they have issues performing with their partner? Is he having trouble staying hard? Support him in a trip to a doctor to find the root cause. It might just be mental.

Don’t try to change him. A lot of people make this mistake, but unless a man is doing something dangerous or hurtful, then there’s no point trying to change his behavior from the outside. What you can do instead is offer your support and be a listening ear while he sorts out his issues through therapy or counseling sessions.

How To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem – What You SHOULD Do

Offer practical help. If your loved one is already struggling with low self-esteem, then receiving compliments or support may make them feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Therefore, your best course of action will be to offer them some practical assistance, such as by offering to help him find a job, do his shopping, or take care of some other responsibility. He may not be ready to accept the offer yet, though, so pay close attention to his reaction before making your move.

Be genuine about what you say. If your primary motive for helping somebody with low self-esteem is that you expect something in return, this will clearly show. If you want to help somebody, then find how your words or actions could genuinely benefit them.

Listen non-judgementally. This is another classic mistake many people make when trying to help somebody suffering from low self-esteem. These well-meaning individuals don’t realize that by constantly correcting the other person’s errors in judgment, they are likely to drive them even further into self-destructive behavior.

Please don’t treat them like they’re stupid or incompetent. Some men may be more likely to avoid seeking help when they’re sick because of the stigma attached to male illnesses, particularly concerning mental health. Because of this, you mustn’t treat them like they’re not smart enough to realize when they need help or that they can’t handle the problem on their own.

Be empathetic and support their feelings. It’s essential, however, to remember that having low self-esteem is an authentic and painful experience for somebody who struggles with it. Their pain is accurate and may be very difficult for you to understand. That’s okay! What matters is how you deal with it, which should always involve empathizing with their feelings and supporting them in whatever way possible.

How To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem – Final Thoughts

Don’t try to pretend you know what they’re going through. Even if you’ve had problems with your self-esteem in the past, you mustn’t act like you can understand what somebody else is feeling. There’s no such thing as a “standard” case of low self-esteem either; each person will experience it very differently, and there are many different factors that can cause it.

Be mindful of your body language. At the same time, you need to be aware of what you say to avoid shaming somebody with low self-esteem; another important thing is to watch out for your body language and how this might be interpreted by somebody who’s already very sensitive about how they perceive themselves. Be conscious of any facial expressions or gestures that he might be perceived as judgemental, critical, or otherwise unsupportive.

Don’t give up! As frustrating as it may be to watch somebody you care about suffer from low self-esteem, this doesn’t mean you should give up on them. While there is no single “miracle cure” for low self-esteem, You can overcome it with time and effort.


Having low self-esteem is a harrowing experience that can have a profound impact on somebody’s mental health. Unfortunately, because there aren’t many resources designed to help men suffering from this type of problem, they may be less likely to seek out the assistance or information they need.

If you or somebody else you know is suffering from low self-esteem, there are resources available that can help! Sometimes all it takes is somebody willing to listen and offer practical assistance for them to get back on track. It may not happen overnight, but nobody should have to suffer from low self-esteem with enough support and encouragement.




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